Saturday, September 27, 2008

Holy Cow! A new post.... nothing to do with DD, LOL.

I found a meme I hadn't seen before on a couple of blogs I visit, so I umm... stole it, LOL, but I thought it was a very unique one, so here goes.....



1) If your ex REALLY needed you at 3 am, would you go to his/her house?



Absolutely. And so would my husband since my ex is one of his best friends. He was the best man in our wedding and introduced us, but believe it or not.. it's never been a weird thing. He and his wife are good friends of ours still.



2) When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?



Not so much punch him in the face, but knock the phone off of his hear... that would be for the pizza delivery guy who was talking on his cell phone while trying to deliver my order at my door. Talk about customer service!



3) What are the last three things you spent money on?



Oh goodness, let's see..... 1) prescription meds 2) milk 3) DVD rental



4) What was the last thing you cried about?



I honestly can't remember. Probably something to do with my kids. My youngest is hitting a lot of milestones lately and they're going way too fast!



5) Could you go a day without eating?



I have before due to the health situations, but it's not my first choice.



6)Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a J?



Yep, my grandpa!! And I'd give almost anything to be able to do it again!



7)Do you smoke weed regularly?



Never have, never will



8) Has anyone ever told you they're in love with you?



Yes... my husband.





9) When was the last time you were disappointed?



Last night





10) Has a girl ever seriously punched you?



Not that I can recall.



11) What was the last thing you put in your mouth?



A meximelt.





12) Have you kissed two different people in one night?



Every night! I have four kids and a husband, so I kiss five different people each night :).



13) How easy is it for others to make you feel awkward?



It depends on who it is.



14) Are you taller than 5'4"?



Yes

15) In the last week, have you felt stupid?



Yes



16) What's the age difference between you and the last person you kissed?



32 years.... she's 3, and very hard to resist kissing :)!



17) Have you ever been outside completely naked?



Does in a tent count??



18) What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed?



100% impossible



19) Who did you text the most yesterday?



If IMing online counts, that would be Katy. Other than that, I didn't text at all yesterday.



20) What were you doing at 10pm Friday night?



Talking to my mom on the phone.



21) What are your plans for today?



Work on cleaning the house, doing some laundry, kids baths, fixing dinner, etc... normally Saturday stuff.



22) Could you go the rest of your life without smoking cigarette?



Since I never have started, then I would say, absolutely! I watched my grandfather die from lung cancer, so I dont see me ever starting.



23) What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?



To have my tonsils checked and get refills for my prescriptions.



24)What is the last thing you yelled aloud?



I'm pretty sure it was one of my kids' names, but I sure couldn't tell you which one, lol.



25) What do you think of when you think of Australia



Kangaroos



26) Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?



Not that I can think of off the top of my head.



27) Have you ever kissed the last person you text?



Well, the last time I actually texted with my cell phone... I think it was my husband, so I would hope so.



28) What's one action you do when you're really nervous



Either start talking a lot or bouncing my leg.



29) Would you rather give up the computer or the TV?



definitely TV..... my computer has too many lifelines on it, lol



30) Do you find yourself saying mean things to people over the internet that you wouldn't say to their face?



No, I am not mean over the internet unless I have to be and those things I would say to their face if necessary.



31) One word that explains perfectly how you feel at the moment?



resigned



32) What did the last text message you received say?



I have no idea, lol.



33) Do you care if people hate you for no reason?



More than I like, but I'm getting a lot better at that. People who hate for no good reason are only cheating themselves.



34) How hard is your life right now?



Very hard in a lot of ways, but not near as hard as it could be, so I try to look at my blessings versus my hardships and it improves my outlook. God knows the big pictures, so I rest in his security.



35) Have you ever taken anyone for granted?



Definitely.... not proud of it, but I'm sure everyone has at some point.







April



Sunday, September 7, 2008

Defining our Direction

It's no secret here that Hunter and I have had many ups and downs in regards to the consistency of our DD life.

For awhile now it just seems life everything was going in a vicious circle. He would stay consistent for a few days and I would get better with my behavior and then he would slack off and I would get worse and start testing him and round and round the story goes. We've had a lot of talks over the last three years about how to do this,that and and the other and what was effective and what wasn't and what we thought should be spankable, etc.... But, even through all these talks, I think we'd missed one of the really important ones. Just what was it we expected to achieve from DD?

Like so many other couples, I think we tried to jump into this head first and made tons and tons of rules and just thought every little problem could be fixed overnight simply by spanking. This is where the post on whether or not DD was really about spanking at all came from.

Well, last weekend took advantage of having a 3 day weekend and some "grandbaby withdrawal" from grandma time to sit down and do some talking and a WHOLE lot of spanking. We both agreed that we needed to figure out just what our goals and expectations were of DD and try to get on the same page.

First we discussed Goals and we came up with four goals that we want to see as a result of living a DD lifestyle:

1) Improved Communication
2) Peace in the home
3)Consistency in our words and actions
4) Accountability to one another

Then we each came up with three expectations that we have of the other that we agree to really concentrate on for the next few months. We thought three would be workable and not too overwhelming.

His expectations of me are......

1) He expects me to "go to work" each day as far as my responsibilities as a stay at home mom and housewife and make those responsibilities a priority just like he goes out of the home to work each day whether he feels like it or not.

2) He expects me to speak and act toward him in a respectful manner.

3) He expects me to discipline our children without yelling.( I thought maybe if I posted them here then I'd have even more accountability and you all could send positive thoughts my way . )

I expect him to ....

1) Be firm and consistent with DD even when he doesn't feel like it.

2) To make time with me in the evenings a priority.

3) To use clear communication and say how he feels about things. This pertains to if something I do upsets him or whether or not he intends to apply consequences instead of leaving me guessing.

At the end we came up with rules for our DD life and narrowed those down to 2 basic rules..

1) Be respectful
2) Take care of health and self

If you think about it, pretty much anything can fall into those two categories and this sounds so much simpler than the pages of stuff we came up with in the beginning.

After talking, he gave a very serious, long, and very hard spanking to kind of give us a fresh start and remind me of the HOH dynamic that we have both agreed to. This is something I asked for as I was starting to feel like I was putting the walls up again and didnt' want to go back there. We also used the weekend (no, we weren't alone the whole weekend, but the kids do sleep and they can go upstairs) for him to give periodic short reminder spankings reinforcing the fact that he is HOH.

He also gave three somewhat serious spankings as a reminder of each of the three expectations I am to work on and what to expect if I am not meeting them.Overall, this was a really really good weekend for us. I feel much clearer and secure in our choice to live this lifestyle and am really feeling his commitment to it as well. It doesn't feel like we're just kind of winging it or that it's jumbled in mass chaos what each expects of the other and got us on the same page.

It just seems like we've had a lot of instances lately where he says something and I am not defining it anywhere near what he intended. I also had my eyes opened to some of his concerns and how important they really are to him. We're not being naive here. I know and understand now that things are not going to be perfect all the time and I am not going to change the undesirable behaviors overnight. I have been this way for over 30 years and need to establish some new habits.

Anyhow, I just thought I'd share something that worked really well for us and kind of where we are right now .