The previous post was created about a week ago, but I didn't post it until this morning, so now to update....
We have rain! The drought is over!
Someone suggested that we do a "just because" spanking to help get back on track as far as the DD/Spanking side. Saturday afternoon the opportunity presented itself and he gave me a short spanking with the hairbrush and plastic bathbrush. OH. MY. WORD!!!! I most definitely have a very severe case of "Virgin Butt"!! That hurt so bad. Thankfully it was pretty short!! It hurt, but it was good and we were both okay with it.
However, now I'm thinking maybe I had bad timing in wanting to restart the spankings because the very next day, I actually earned one! Go figure!
I left the curling iron on after getting ready for church yesterday morning and didn't realize it until 4:30 in the afternoon! I confessed because he has asked me to in these cases and a spanking was promised.
It hasn't happened yet as he needed to go to bed last night before the baby was asleep, but just the fact that it was promised meant a lot to me.
Not that I want the spanking, because honestly, the virgin state of my backside scares me right now!! Ouch! I'm just glad to see that he's trying to be consistent right off the bat. So, we'll see what happens!
Have a great Monday!
April
Monday, January 24, 2011
Foundation is still there...
As most know, we had a baby 7 mos ago and any spanking went on hiatus about a month before she was born. We had originally agreed on a month long break after the baby came for any spanking, but then she came and she was a somewhat difficult newborn and all thoughts of 30 days went out the window along with any resemblance of order in our house.
Just when things started to settle a bit, we decided to move. Well, back to total chaos!
There had been a few mentions of spanking here and there in the early days, maybe around two months ago, but nothing since.
So, where are we?? Not sure. I know the HOH dynamic is still going. I have noticed that Hunter is much more comfortable in expressing his desires as far as how things should be done. He is more active in the day to day decisions too and is not as quick to avoid conflict.
I am definitely in a much more submissive and calm place than I was when we first started DD. I have a deeper trust in his ability to run things and make the decisions that are best for us as a family. I am much better about consulting him before making any big decisions as well.
This week, we had a situation that I saw this show itself. Last weekend we had a big snowstorm which close school for our kids Monday through Wednesday. On Thursday, school was back in session but the temperatures were still very frigid and the residential roads were horrible! I really wanted to keep the kids home and Hunter and I went back and forth many times on Wednesday afternoon and evening on what the best decision was. On Thursday morning, he said he thought they should go as long as they were bundled warm enough. He pretty much left it up to me for the final decision, but made his opinion clear. Although, I was very hesitant, I decided to defer to him and send them to school. It worked out. They bundled up really well and the buses were right on time so they only waited about five minutes. Once it was all said and done, I felt really good about going with what he wanted. In the past I would've been very territorial with the decision and not given him a second thought.
So, the HOH dynamic is alive and well, but the DD side is dying a slow death.
I thought I'd be more upset about the idea. Part of me is okay with the absence, but a bigger part really misses the connection we had with DD.
Our new house is not as DD friendly as the other one, so in the back of my mind, I wonder if it will ever come back or not. I know this won't get easier as the kids get older either.
I really want to leave it up to him if and when to resume the DD side, but at the same time, I'm starting to feel disconnected in a way and the urge to brat surfaces from time to time.
I dont' do well with uncertainty because it's harder to control a situation so maybe this is teaching me patience.
I will talk to Hunter about all of this soon. Writing it all out has helped me gather my thoughts.
April
Just when things started to settle a bit, we decided to move. Well, back to total chaos!
There had been a few mentions of spanking here and there in the early days, maybe around two months ago, but nothing since.
So, where are we?? Not sure. I know the HOH dynamic is still going. I have noticed that Hunter is much more comfortable in expressing his desires as far as how things should be done. He is more active in the day to day decisions too and is not as quick to avoid conflict.
I am definitely in a much more submissive and calm place than I was when we first started DD. I have a deeper trust in his ability to run things and make the decisions that are best for us as a family. I am much better about consulting him before making any big decisions as well.
This week, we had a situation that I saw this show itself. Last weekend we had a big snowstorm which close school for our kids Monday through Wednesday. On Thursday, school was back in session but the temperatures were still very frigid and the residential roads were horrible! I really wanted to keep the kids home and Hunter and I went back and forth many times on Wednesday afternoon and evening on what the best decision was. On Thursday morning, he said he thought they should go as long as they were bundled warm enough. He pretty much left it up to me for the final decision, but made his opinion clear. Although, I was very hesitant, I decided to defer to him and send them to school. It worked out. They bundled up really well and the buses were right on time so they only waited about five minutes. Once it was all said and done, I felt really good about going with what he wanted. In the past I would've been very territorial with the decision and not given him a second thought.
So, the HOH dynamic is alive and well, but the DD side is dying a slow death.
I thought I'd be more upset about the idea. Part of me is okay with the absence, but a bigger part really misses the connection we had with DD.
Our new house is not as DD friendly as the other one, so in the back of my mind, I wonder if it will ever come back or not. I know this won't get easier as the kids get older either.
I really want to leave it up to him if and when to resume the DD side, but at the same time, I'm starting to feel disconnected in a way and the urge to brat surfaces from time to time.
I dont' do well with uncertainty because it's harder to control a situation so maybe this is teaching me patience.
I will talk to Hunter about all of this soon. Writing it all out has helped me gather my thoughts.
April
Thursday, September 30, 2010
God's Design or Kink?
I know the physical act of spanking and the domination that goes with it can be a "kink", but is there another reason for it being a turn on.
I've made no secret of the fact that our decision to practice DD is associated with our faith and the mandate that the husband is to be the head of the home. So, while I believe that DD is good for us and something that works for us, I don't believe that the Bible argues for or against the spanking part of DD. Make sense?
The physical side of DD has been on hold here now for about five months due to me being pregnant and then having the baby. Something I did notice though was that even though the spanking wasn't happening, we were still very much living a DD lifestyle. He is still the HOH, there's just not any spanking going on.
There have been a few times where I have crossed the line with my behavior or my attitude and he has put his foot down. For example: A few weeks ago we were rushing around trying to get ready for a weekly activity which always ends up in chaos and one of the kids didn't have everything they needed. I was very irritated and felt like I hadn't gotten enough help from him in getting them ready to go and said to him, "That's it! From now on the computer goes off at 5:45! Period!" I was nasty and disrespectful, no question and did feel bad later. A few hours later, we were home and he said to me, "You don't tell me what to do like that ever again," or something to that effect. I felt bad for speaking that way but at the same time his reprimand really turned me on. It also had a calming effect on me that he stepped into his role in the marriage and took charge. I felt safe.
I've heard men say that they are very turned on when their wives are submissive.
So, my question is... are we turned on because of a kink or because we are living the way God designed? Did God design us to be rewarded with a turn on when we follow his plan?
I would really welcome any feedback here as long as it is respectful. :)
April
I've made no secret of the fact that our decision to practice DD is associated with our faith and the mandate that the husband is to be the head of the home. So, while I believe that DD is good for us and something that works for us, I don't believe that the Bible argues for or against the spanking part of DD. Make sense?
The physical side of DD has been on hold here now for about five months due to me being pregnant and then having the baby. Something I did notice though was that even though the spanking wasn't happening, we were still very much living a DD lifestyle. He is still the HOH, there's just not any spanking going on.
There have been a few times where I have crossed the line with my behavior or my attitude and he has put his foot down. For example: A few weeks ago we were rushing around trying to get ready for a weekly activity which always ends up in chaos and one of the kids didn't have everything they needed. I was very irritated and felt like I hadn't gotten enough help from him in getting them ready to go and said to him, "That's it! From now on the computer goes off at 5:45! Period!" I was nasty and disrespectful, no question and did feel bad later. A few hours later, we were home and he said to me, "You don't tell me what to do like that ever again," or something to that effect. I felt bad for speaking that way but at the same time his reprimand really turned me on. It also had a calming effect on me that he stepped into his role in the marriage and took charge. I felt safe.
I've heard men say that they are very turned on when their wives are submissive.
So, my question is... are we turned on because of a kink or because we are living the way God designed? Did God design us to be rewarded with a turn on when we follow his plan?
I would really welcome any feedback here as long as it is respectful. :)
April
Anyone left out there??
Hello :)
I'm not sure if there are any readers left out there in cyberspace, but no, I have not dropped off the face of the planet.
Life has been a tad crazy here. A few months ago, we added a new baby to our already chaotic household so my time has had to otherwise prioritized.
We'll call this "Blog Adventure Take 2" and see what happens. Hope you'll come along for the ride.
April
I'm not sure if there are any readers left out there in cyberspace, but no, I have not dropped off the face of the planet.
Life has been a tad crazy here. A few months ago, we added a new baby to our already chaotic household so my time has had to otherwise prioritized.
We'll call this "Blog Adventure Take 2" and see what happens. Hope you'll come along for the ride.
April
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Still Going....
Hello all :)!
We are still going strong here. Our baby will arrive in the next few months so I'm sure our spanking days are temporarily numbered. It is getting more and more difficult to find a comfortable position for either of us and of course there are the more frequent doctor visits.
Hunter is still fairly content to let me make the call on what implements I am comfortable with as the pregnancy progresses.
One thing we both have noticed that actually caught us a bit off guard is the sensitvity of my skin! Hunter has always said that I have an "iron butt" and that I can take one heck of a spanking. However, since becoming pregnant, we have found that there are a few implements he can no longer use simply because they make me panic with their intensity which is not our goal with DD. It also takes a lot less of a spanking to get my attention which I guess could be attributed to a lot of things. It could be that I'm "growing up" in my DD and am quicker to become remorseful for my actions or to submit to his discipline or it just could be that my skin is much more sensitive and that it just plain HURTS! lol I like to think it's the first, but I'll be curious to see what happens after the baby comes.
We have talked a bit about when to continue DD post baby and I told him that I really don't want to wait more than a month. Things have been going so well and I have a fear of losing ground. We have seen such a positive side of what DD can bring to the marriage in the last year or so and neither of us want to go backwards. It's too important!
For the most part, we have always used the position of me laying on the bed and him standing as he spanks. This worked well, but with the increasing size of my belly, we have been using a different position where I lean over the side and he sits next to me and puts his arm across my lower back. It's as close to OTK as I can comfortably get, but I've been amazed at how much I prefer this position over anything else. It is much more personal because it allows him to keep contact with me while the spanking is taking place and he is able to help keep me in position (not that I move a ton anyway), but it's been a real security thing for me.
I dont know if it's the hormones or what, but the last several months I have really found myself looking at DD in a whole new light and really put some depth into it. I'm hoping that once things slow down around here I can take the time to share some of these things with you all here.
It's time for another dr. appt, so I'll be going. Thank you to those who continue to stop by! :)
April
We are still going strong here. Our baby will arrive in the next few months so I'm sure our spanking days are temporarily numbered. It is getting more and more difficult to find a comfortable position for either of us and of course there are the more frequent doctor visits.
Hunter is still fairly content to let me make the call on what implements I am comfortable with as the pregnancy progresses.
One thing we both have noticed that actually caught us a bit off guard is the sensitvity of my skin! Hunter has always said that I have an "iron butt" and that I can take one heck of a spanking. However, since becoming pregnant, we have found that there are a few implements he can no longer use simply because they make me panic with their intensity which is not our goal with DD. It also takes a lot less of a spanking to get my attention which I guess could be attributed to a lot of things. It could be that I'm "growing up" in my DD and am quicker to become remorseful for my actions or to submit to his discipline or it just could be that my skin is much more sensitive and that it just plain HURTS! lol I like to think it's the first, but I'll be curious to see what happens after the baby comes.
We have talked a bit about when to continue DD post baby and I told him that I really don't want to wait more than a month. Things have been going so well and I have a fear of losing ground. We have seen such a positive side of what DD can bring to the marriage in the last year or so and neither of us want to go backwards. It's too important!
For the most part, we have always used the position of me laying on the bed and him standing as he spanks. This worked well, but with the increasing size of my belly, we have been using a different position where I lean over the side and he sits next to me and puts his arm across my lower back. It's as close to OTK as I can comfortably get, but I've been amazed at how much I prefer this position over anything else. It is much more personal because it allows him to keep contact with me while the spanking is taking place and he is able to help keep me in position (not that I move a ton anyway), but it's been a real security thing for me.
I dont know if it's the hormones or what, but the last several months I have really found myself looking at DD in a whole new light and really put some depth into it. I'm hoping that once things slow down around here I can take the time to share some of these things with you all here.
It's time for another dr. appt, so I'll be going. Thank you to those who continue to stop by! :)
April
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Still doing DD.. but a few changes are necessary
Hello all. I apologize again for the long absence.
Hunter and I have had to make some adjustments in our DD life, but all for a very good reason.
A little over a month ago, we were quite shocked, surprised, and stunned to find that we are expecting another baby! This will make number 5!
We actually started DD during my last pregnancy, so I have no problem with continuing through this one. However, we have opted to do away with any high impact implements for the foreseeable future and he has given me the freedom to decide which implements I am comfortable with using thru the duration of the pregnancy. He still chooses which one and when, but only from the selection I am comfortable with.
I am also finding that my nerve-endings have been very heightened in pregnancy so implements that used to be tolerable are no longer that way. The strap wrench for example, although always awful is causing me to panic these days so it is off the table for now. Our little pink cane is becoming a fast favorite mainly because it can be used effectively with very little impact, effort or huge numbers.
Some of our rules have also been taken off the table for now such as housework and such due to extreme morning sickness and exhaustion.
Hunter has been amazing!! The man has been helping even more with housework and has been doing 99% of meal preparation for the last month. I am feeling a bit better this week, so hopefully we are nearing the end of this part!
I am currently 9 weeks along and will keep you posted on how things are going and how our DD continues to function.
Take care and thanks for coming by! :)
April
Hunter and I have had to make some adjustments in our DD life, but all for a very good reason.
A little over a month ago, we were quite shocked, surprised, and stunned to find that we are expecting another baby! This will make number 5!
We actually started DD during my last pregnancy, so I have no problem with continuing through this one. However, we have opted to do away with any high impact implements for the foreseeable future and he has given me the freedom to decide which implements I am comfortable with using thru the duration of the pregnancy. He still chooses which one and when, but only from the selection I am comfortable with.
I am also finding that my nerve-endings have been very heightened in pregnancy so implements that used to be tolerable are no longer that way. The strap wrench for example, although always awful is causing me to panic these days so it is off the table for now. Our little pink cane is becoming a fast favorite mainly because it can be used effectively with very little impact, effort or huge numbers.
Some of our rules have also been taken off the table for now such as housework and such due to extreme morning sickness and exhaustion.
Hunter has been amazing!! The man has been helping even more with housework and has been doing 99% of meal preparation for the last month. I am feeling a bit better this week, so hopefully we are nearing the end of this part!
I am currently 9 weeks along and will keep you posted on how things are going and how our DD continues to function.
Take care and thanks for coming by! :)
April
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Understanding Does Not Mean Agreement
You clearly state your opinion on a matter and your spouse doesn't agree, so you state it again and he/she still doesn't agree. Does this mean that your spouse doesn't understand?
How many times do we feel that we need to repeatedly explain our opinions, thoughts, or position believing that if our spouse doesn't agree that they dont' understand.
This weekend, I was enlightened by a friend of mine who finally figured it out. Understanding does not mean agreement. Our spouses can fully understand us and not agree.
I know I find myself doing this all the time. If it is something I am truly passionate about, then I somehow have it in my brain that if he truly understood my point, then he would totally agree with me, so if he's not agreeing then it must be because he doesn't understand.
This was eye-opening to me. It was like a light-bulb moment where a bubble popped up and said, "Guess what, we are going to disagree from time to time." It's not because we dont' understand the other, we just have different points of view.
I can see how this can play into the DD relationship. I may not always agree over what my husband considers to be spankable, but I understand that I have given him consent by agreeing to live under his leadership. Together, he and I have agreed to this male-led HOH lifestyle and we have agreed to the fact that he will use spanking as a disciplinary measure when necessary. I can fully understand why he may make a decision to spank me without agreeing with that decision and not just the decision in itself, but maybe just the execution of that decision.
Case in point.....
Sunday afternoon, I had a reminder spanking coming for the week in general. I fully understood why I was getting spanked. There was no question in the matter. However, he chose to give the spanking while the kids were in the next room. Even after I expressed that I was not comfortable with that decision,he spanked anyway. I went through the motions of physically submitting myself to the spanking, but my heart was not there because I felt that I was not being heard. After pouting for a day or two, it finally dawned on me this morning when I was thinking back on that spanking. He did understand he just didnt' agree that the spanking shouldn't take place then. How do I know that he understood? He used much quieter implements, implements that he would not normally use for those infractions. My consequence for not taking my meds as I should is a spanking with extra swats added at the end with the big bath brush with so many swats per pill. He used the brat loop which is much quieter.
By allowing myself to immediately go on the defensive in believing that I wasn't being understood because he didn't agree, then I put myelf in the position of not fully engaging in the spanking and not letting it reach my heart which in my mind is not true submission. I also wasted valuable time and energy in a pout over the whole thing. All I had to do was to let him know that I wasn't feeling understood and he could've expressed to me that he did understand and was taking my feelings into consideration even if it wasn't in the manner I wanted.
D0 I feel my husband owes me an explanation for all he does? No, he is the HOH. However, that does not make him the dictator and he will explain when he knows that I am feeling unheard, unloved, or misunderstood.
Anyhow, that is my most recent epiphany in this DD journey.
Thanks for stopping by :)!
April
How many times do we feel that we need to repeatedly explain our opinions, thoughts, or position believing that if our spouse doesn't agree that they dont' understand.
This weekend, I was enlightened by a friend of mine who finally figured it out. Understanding does not mean agreement. Our spouses can fully understand us and not agree.
I know I find myself doing this all the time. If it is something I am truly passionate about, then I somehow have it in my brain that if he truly understood my point, then he would totally agree with me, so if he's not agreeing then it must be because he doesn't understand.
This was eye-opening to me. It was like a light-bulb moment where a bubble popped up and said, "Guess what, we are going to disagree from time to time." It's not because we dont' understand the other, we just have different points of view.
I can see how this can play into the DD relationship. I may not always agree over what my husband considers to be spankable, but I understand that I have given him consent by agreeing to live under his leadership. Together, he and I have agreed to this male-led HOH lifestyle and we have agreed to the fact that he will use spanking as a disciplinary measure when necessary. I can fully understand why he may make a decision to spank me without agreeing with that decision and not just the decision in itself, but maybe just the execution of that decision.
Case in point.....
Sunday afternoon, I had a reminder spanking coming for the week in general. I fully understood why I was getting spanked. There was no question in the matter. However, he chose to give the spanking while the kids were in the next room. Even after I expressed that I was not comfortable with that decision,he spanked anyway. I went through the motions of physically submitting myself to the spanking, but my heart was not there because I felt that I was not being heard. After pouting for a day or two, it finally dawned on me this morning when I was thinking back on that spanking. He did understand he just didnt' agree that the spanking shouldn't take place then. How do I know that he understood? He used much quieter implements, implements that he would not normally use for those infractions. My consequence for not taking my meds as I should is a spanking with extra swats added at the end with the big bath brush with so many swats per pill. He used the brat loop which is much quieter.
By allowing myself to immediately go on the defensive in believing that I wasn't being understood because he didn't agree, then I put myelf in the position of not fully engaging in the spanking and not letting it reach my heart which in my mind is not true submission. I also wasted valuable time and energy in a pout over the whole thing. All I had to do was to let him know that I wasn't feeling understood and he could've expressed to me that he did understand and was taking my feelings into consideration even if it wasn't in the manner I wanted.
D0 I feel my husband owes me an explanation for all he does? No, he is the HOH. However, that does not make him the dictator and he will explain when he knows that I am feeling unheard, unloved, or misunderstood.
Anyhow, that is my most recent epiphany in this DD journey.
Thanks for stopping by :)!
April
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