I know there are times when certain parts of a spanking make me angry. I used to think it was because "he wasn't doing it right", but now I'm starting to wonder if it's more about the spanking not being carried out in the manner that I would've chosen or they way I had it written in my head.
Due to falling behind and having a terrible attitude on my household responsibilities, my husband and I decided to try what I've heard referred to as "transformational discipline." (I promise I'll write about that sometime soon.) But part of what came of that was me receiving a spanking every night for two weeks to remind me of the importance of making my responsibilities a priority whether I felt like it or not.
The last several days, he's been ending these spankings with several hard swats to my thighs which as anyone who is spanked knows, really hurts! Well, I found myself being mad when it was over and I wasn't sure why. I tried to convince myself it was because he was doing it wrong. Well, I think "wrong" turned out to be code for "I wouldn't tell you to do it that way."
So, now what? Well, I guess I'm gonna have to trust him. I'm going to have to sit back and trust that he is doing what he believes will be the most effective to help change my behavior. And I'm going to have to open my mind up to the idea that I am not in charge here! Ouch!
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4 comments:
My ex fiancee used to have me assume the diaper position when he would switch my bottom. My anger came from holding on to the stubbornness. It was a power struggle. Finally when i relinquished the stubborn streak the power struggle was gone. Im still stubborn, which is why I need to have a CDD relationship
once a month, I submit to a warm water enema, and when its the roughtst, he'll hug me and remaind me how much he loves me, and I trust him to give me permission to go to the girls room before its to late. This is a great trust builder. But it always starts with a maitenance spanking, so it isnt sexualized.
Ask your husband if the two of you could meditate on bible verses pretaining to submission , as he is spanking your bottom. focusing on Jesus will bring you right into submission.
Thanks for all the comments :)
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