Journaling

One of the things we have struggled the most with in our DD journey is consistancy. When he would fail to be consistant in discipline, I would start thinking that he didnt' want to do this anymore and that I was too much trouble and that he didnt' care. As comforting as DD is, there is a lot of insecurity that can go into it.



I can't speak from the point of view of the spanker, but being the spankee, I know there is a lot of vulnerability in baring your bottom and putting yourself into a position for someone to inflict pain on you. I know that it's not all about the pain, but let's face it, spankings hurt. The trust element is also of utmost importance in knowing that the person I am trusting to discipline me will not take advantage of that power. There is also trust in his part that I will not hold this against him afterwards.



As our times of inconsistancy continued, the feelings would increase and I would find myself withdrawing and putting up walls. Thus the idea of the journal. Life is busy and with a large family and other commitments, there are times that DD cannot be a front runner. That's just the way it is and there were times that he would get overwhelmed in trying to keep track of what he was supposed to call me on. The transition to HOH/disciplinarian was not a natural thing for him.

So, a little over a year ago, I started keeping a daily journal. This is a place where I am required to list any rules that I may have broken while he was at work or where I can share whatever is on my heart that I may find too difficult to do verbally. I am a writer and have always expressed myself more easily with the written word. I show him the journal each night and he decides whether or not a spanking or other discipline is warranted. Every Saturday, we set aside some time to go over the prior weeks entries and talk about what is and isnt' working for us and determine what action to take to improve things or to address any issues.



The journal has made life and DD so much more peaceful here. I no longer feel like a burden and I am assured that even if we can't deal with an issue at the time it happens that we will get to it on our Saturday. I have a place that I know he will acknowledge my feelings and my feelings of insecurity have greatly diminished. I am so much more comfortable in sharing my thoughts, feelings, and any struggles with him and know that he will give me the time and attention I need.



When we first started the journal, it was 98% me filling it out and such, but now he has taken to writing in it too and sharing what is on his heart. It has increased our communication and proved to be a great tool for us. :)



Have a great weekend :)!!



April