This is a question that has run through my mind a lot lately, and I'm gonna try to post my thoughts on it without totally confusing myself and everyone else by the time I'm done.
Yes, I think spanking is a need and/or kink some of us are born with. We are just wired that way. If I were to say that I wasn't turned on by spanking, I would be lying, but it's more the fantasy of it versus the reality that turns me on. And if I had to be honest, it's more the dominancy and the masculine take charge attitude of my husband during the spankings that makes me feel loved and protected that is really the turn on. It's not necessarily the act of the spanking itself.
Inconsistency has been an issue here more often than not for the entirety of our DD journey. We've gone through phases where it really bothers me and then some where I'm okay with it and understand that life gets in the way sometimes.
What generally happens here is that after a lull, he will ask what I need. Now in terms of "need" he is talking about spanking and basically asking what I need in the way of a spanking in order to move on and restart us. What I have somehow managed to fail to communicate in the last three years, is that this need for DD really has very little to do with spanking itself. What I need is to know that he'll keep his word when he promises consequences. I need to know that he wants this and that it's important to him too. I need the guidance and accountability that comes with DD and I need it all the time, not just when he's not too tired or too busy.
I guess, in my opinion, the spanking is just a tool of DD just like any other consequence. It just happens to be the consequence that reaches my heart the most. I believe that a DD relationship is completely possible without any spanking at all. It depends on the couple and what those needs are. So, while spanking is indeed a need for me, it's not the whole need. It's only a small part of it.
Just administering a spanking every few days or every few weeks is not going to meet my need any more than sex without love would have any meaning for me.
Any thoughts??
April
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2 comments:
So nicely put. DD, for me, is so much more than the spankings...it is his taking control...protecting...even the warning "looks" and phrases. It includes knowing that he loves me enough to help me...and help us...through the harder times and the easier times. It sounds like you are blessed, April.
Best wishes,
Mandy
Keep up the brilliant posts!
Thank you for sharing with us!
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