Hello all. I apologize again for the long absence.
Hunter and I have had to make some adjustments in our DD life, but all for a very good reason.
A little over a month ago, we were quite shocked, surprised, and stunned to find that we are expecting another baby! This will make number 5!
We actually started DD during my last pregnancy, so I have no problem with continuing through this one. However, we have opted to do away with any high impact implements for the foreseeable future and he has given me the freedom to decide which implements I am comfortable with using thru the duration of the pregnancy. He still chooses which one and when, but only from the selection I am comfortable with.
I am also finding that my nerve-endings have been very heightened in pregnancy so implements that used to be tolerable are no longer that way. The strap wrench for example, although always awful is causing me to panic these days so it is off the table for now. Our little pink cane is becoming a fast favorite mainly because it can be used effectively with very little impact, effort or huge numbers.
Some of our rules have also been taken off the table for now such as housework and such due to extreme morning sickness and exhaustion.
Hunter has been amazing!! The man has been helping even more with housework and has been doing 99% of meal preparation for the last month. I am feeling a bit better this week, so hopefully we are nearing the end of this part!
I am currently 9 weeks along and will keep you posted on how things are going and how our DD continues to function.
Take care and thanks for coming by! :)
April
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Understanding Does Not Mean Agreement
You clearly state your opinion on a matter and your spouse doesn't agree, so you state it again and he/she still doesn't agree. Does this mean that your spouse doesn't understand?
How many times do we feel that we need to repeatedly explain our opinions, thoughts, or position believing that if our spouse doesn't agree that they dont' understand.
This weekend, I was enlightened by a friend of mine who finally figured it out. Understanding does not mean agreement. Our spouses can fully understand us and not agree.
I know I find myself doing this all the time. If it is something I am truly passionate about, then I somehow have it in my brain that if he truly understood my point, then he would totally agree with me, so if he's not agreeing then it must be because he doesn't understand.
This was eye-opening to me. It was like a light-bulb moment where a bubble popped up and said, "Guess what, we are going to disagree from time to time." It's not because we dont' understand the other, we just have different points of view.
I can see how this can play into the DD relationship. I may not always agree over what my husband considers to be spankable, but I understand that I have given him consent by agreeing to live under his leadership. Together, he and I have agreed to this male-led HOH lifestyle and we have agreed to the fact that he will use spanking as a disciplinary measure when necessary. I can fully understand why he may make a decision to spank me without agreeing with that decision and not just the decision in itself, but maybe just the execution of that decision.
Case in point.....
Sunday afternoon, I had a reminder spanking coming for the week in general. I fully understood why I was getting spanked. There was no question in the matter. However, he chose to give the spanking while the kids were in the next room. Even after I expressed that I was not comfortable with that decision,he spanked anyway. I went through the motions of physically submitting myself to the spanking, but my heart was not there because I felt that I was not being heard. After pouting for a day or two, it finally dawned on me this morning when I was thinking back on that spanking. He did understand he just didnt' agree that the spanking shouldn't take place then. How do I know that he understood? He used much quieter implements, implements that he would not normally use for those infractions. My consequence for not taking my meds as I should is a spanking with extra swats added at the end with the big bath brush with so many swats per pill. He used the brat loop which is much quieter.
By allowing myself to immediately go on the defensive in believing that I wasn't being understood because he didn't agree, then I put myelf in the position of not fully engaging in the spanking and not letting it reach my heart which in my mind is not true submission. I also wasted valuable time and energy in a pout over the whole thing. All I had to do was to let him know that I wasn't feeling understood and he could've expressed to me that he did understand and was taking my feelings into consideration even if it wasn't in the manner I wanted.
D0 I feel my husband owes me an explanation for all he does? No, he is the HOH. However, that does not make him the dictator and he will explain when he knows that I am feeling unheard, unloved, or misunderstood.
Anyhow, that is my most recent epiphany in this DD journey.
Thanks for stopping by :)!
April
How many times do we feel that we need to repeatedly explain our opinions, thoughts, or position believing that if our spouse doesn't agree that they dont' understand.
This weekend, I was enlightened by a friend of mine who finally figured it out. Understanding does not mean agreement. Our spouses can fully understand us and not agree.
I know I find myself doing this all the time. If it is something I am truly passionate about, then I somehow have it in my brain that if he truly understood my point, then he would totally agree with me, so if he's not agreeing then it must be because he doesn't understand.
This was eye-opening to me. It was like a light-bulb moment where a bubble popped up and said, "Guess what, we are going to disagree from time to time." It's not because we dont' understand the other, we just have different points of view.
I can see how this can play into the DD relationship. I may not always agree over what my husband considers to be spankable, but I understand that I have given him consent by agreeing to live under his leadership. Together, he and I have agreed to this male-led HOH lifestyle and we have agreed to the fact that he will use spanking as a disciplinary measure when necessary. I can fully understand why he may make a decision to spank me without agreeing with that decision and not just the decision in itself, but maybe just the execution of that decision.
Case in point.....
Sunday afternoon, I had a reminder spanking coming for the week in general. I fully understood why I was getting spanked. There was no question in the matter. However, he chose to give the spanking while the kids were in the next room. Even after I expressed that I was not comfortable with that decision,he spanked anyway. I went through the motions of physically submitting myself to the spanking, but my heart was not there because I felt that I was not being heard. After pouting for a day or two, it finally dawned on me this morning when I was thinking back on that spanking. He did understand he just didnt' agree that the spanking shouldn't take place then. How do I know that he understood? He used much quieter implements, implements that he would not normally use for those infractions. My consequence for not taking my meds as I should is a spanking with extra swats added at the end with the big bath brush with so many swats per pill. He used the brat loop which is much quieter.
By allowing myself to immediately go on the defensive in believing that I wasn't being understood because he didn't agree, then I put myelf in the position of not fully engaging in the spanking and not letting it reach my heart which in my mind is not true submission. I also wasted valuable time and energy in a pout over the whole thing. All I had to do was to let him know that I wasn't feeling understood and he could've expressed to me that he did understand and was taking my feelings into consideration even if it wasn't in the manner I wanted.
D0 I feel my husband owes me an explanation for all he does? No, he is the HOH. However, that does not make him the dictator and he will explain when he knows that I am feeling unheard, unloved, or misunderstood.
Anyhow, that is my most recent epiphany in this DD journey.
Thanks for stopping by :)!
April
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Just Look Around
My niece has this t-shirt that my SIL finds so cute. The front says "Daddy says No" and the back says, "But Mommy says Yes".
This weekend, we were out and saw a little girl wearing a shirt that said "Daddy is the boss.... until Mommy gets home."
It's no wonder so many of us feel in the minority by living in a male-led HOH marriage. The critics are hitting us right and left and now they are going after our daughters all in the name of humor.
TV is the same way. It seems as if the majority of sit-coms have the intelligent, organized, "get it done, soccer mom", but Dad is a bumbling idiot who has no idea what goes on in the house let alone any say in the matter.
Ladies, if we truly believe in this lifestyle and not only the DD part of it, but the very idea of the husband being the HOH, then boy do we have our work cut out for us in raising our daughters!
If anyone has any suggestions and/or stories of how they promote the HOH lifestyle in their homes, feel free to share :).
This weekend, we were out and saw a little girl wearing a shirt that said "Daddy is the boss.... until Mommy gets home."
It's no wonder so many of us feel in the minority by living in a male-led HOH marriage. The critics are hitting us right and left and now they are going after our daughters all in the name of humor.
TV is the same way. It seems as if the majority of sit-coms have the intelligent, organized, "get it done, soccer mom", but Dad is a bumbling idiot who has no idea what goes on in the house let alone any say in the matter.
Ladies, if we truly believe in this lifestyle and not only the DD part of it, but the very idea of the husband being the HOH, then boy do we have our work cut out for us in raising our daughters!
If anyone has any suggestions and/or stories of how they promote the HOH lifestyle in their homes, feel free to share :).
Friday, January 2, 2009
Happy New Year!
Happy 2009!! May your year be filled with joy and may it be a time for growing and fulfillment!
I hope to blog a lot more in the coming year as my huband and I continue in this DD journey.
April
I hope to blog a lot more in the coming year as my huband and I continue in this DD journey.
April
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