I know the physical act of spanking and the domination that goes with it can be a "kink", but is there another reason for it being a turn on.
I've made no secret of the fact that our decision to practice DD is associated with our faith and the mandate that the husband is to be the head of the home. So, while I believe that DD is good for us and something that works for us, I don't believe that the Bible argues for or against the spanking part of DD. Make sense?
The physical side of DD has been on hold here now for about five months due to me being pregnant and then having the baby. Something I did notice though was that even though the spanking wasn't happening, we were still very much living a DD lifestyle. He is still the HOH, there's just not any spanking going on.
There have been a few times where I have crossed the line with my behavior or my attitude and he has put his foot down. For example: A few weeks ago we were rushing around trying to get ready for a weekly activity which always ends up in chaos and one of the kids didn't have everything they needed. I was very irritated and felt like I hadn't gotten enough help from him in getting them ready to go and said to him, "That's it! From now on the computer goes off at 5:45! Period!" I was nasty and disrespectful, no question and did feel bad later. A few hours later, we were home and he said to me, "You don't tell me what to do like that ever again," or something to that effect. I felt bad for speaking that way but at the same time his reprimand really turned me on. It also had a calming effect on me that he stepped into his role in the marriage and took charge. I felt safe.
I've heard men say that they are very turned on when their wives are submissive.
So, my question is... are we turned on because of a kink or because we are living the way God designed? Did God design us to be rewarded with a turn on when we follow his plan?
I would really welcome any feedback here as long as it is respectful. :)
April
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3 comments:
Great post, April and great observations. I do think that you may have it right in that God is giving a reward for doing it His way. That reward can be gotten in other ways outside His will, but it's really great to think that when we follow His plan, He does reward us, sometimes quite immediately and pleasurably!
I am so glad for you that he stepped in and made you feel so loved and safe. It's got to be hard after quite a while of baby-induced hiatus. Good for you for getting back on track. I hope it continues in a manner that is both productive and natural for the both of you.
Big hugs! Chula
JJ and I are new to DD, and I am the one who asked for it. He took awhile to come around with the spanking part, but in the beginning I turned the reigns of control over to him. Yes, I have believed in Biblical submission all our 27 years of marriage, but it's one thing to "know" it, and another to practice it.
Before he really got "into" spanking me, he stepped up as HOH and would use a dominant voice and warn me/ or rebuke me. You're right, it's just down right sexy and secure. I later thanked him for taking the lead and he said in surprise, "I thought you only wanted the spanking part?"
No, we as wives want to know we are loved, cared for, safe and that they can handle anything life throws at us as a family. God does honor us as we fulfill His design and order for the home.
Hope all is going well with your life adjusting to a new baby. No matter how many you have, each new one is an adjustment (taken from a mom of 7). I trust your DD life will get back on full track as life allows, but in the meantime, you are one blessed wife!
Hugs,
Kady
This is a good post, April. I agree with what Chula and Kady wrote. God made us to complete our spouses and to be attracted to them. When we are fulfilling God's intended roles within a marriage, there is a part of us that knows it is right and good, and that gives us contentment and a greater capacity to love and respond to our spouse. And, yes, that includes being a bit turned on when our husbands take charge. I think they get turned on when we willingly submit to their leadership and authority in the home. It's one of the ways God blesses us for following His design for marriage.
Blessings!
Alex
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